beauty

beauty without belies the beast within
beauty within was long since devoured by the beast

the rain

I'm not sure when I wrote this but I think it was junior high (1989-1991)

It smeared my clear glass window pane,
you know that stuff...
The Rain

It began to make my vision blurry,
children scurry, in a hurry
to get away from...
The Rain

It dripped down,
barely making a sound
as it hit the ground...
The Rain

Now as I watch, It disappears
along with all the children's fears
and to my eyes they come, the tears
because I miss...
The Rain

window dreamer

*the year was 1990, I was in eighth grade*

On that cool, breezy, December day
over to my window I walk,
Up go my guarding window shades
then down I go plop

Here I sit and make believe
as I watch the grass green blow
Here I sit I am the Queen
because my mind says so

I begin to rise, I stand fully grown
my window is alive
And here I go, my first step
yes it is my own

On my second step the wind takes me,
my third step is the last,
As I begin to fly you see
the rest I leave in past

I wish this dream never to end
because I am wild and free,
If I come back my story will never again be
And I really do not want that you see

For I am the window dreamer
flying about in the clouds,
I will not stop my dream, no never
for me that is not allowed

i was young once...

...and quite prolific. Now much of what I wrote was pretty random and may not stand up right now but most of what I wrote left me with a good feeling. I recently found my high school and early college writing so I will be posting some of it here. Hopefully the bug will bite and I will be inspired to write some new things too.

dreamy nightmare

Most days life is not what it would seem
a nightmare is all that is left of your dreams

*still in progress*

a rambling yearning continued

repost from lost butterfly angel
... and had I known in the beginning that the end would seem to defeat me, would I have called in sick that day, lost a turn or maybe pretended not to notice? No, I don't think so. This will not get the better of me. I have so much to look forward to and so many other things to do. I'm sure that somewhere deep in me I believe that this is the ultimate truth. So I will say that it was good to meet you that day and take what I have. I'll be strong and say today will bring another tomorrow and perhaps another you to heal the current sorrow...

a rambling yearning

repost from lost butterfly angel
...and then there are the days that I wonder, why did I bother thinking that I was done with you? I'm tired of this place, I do not wish to be here. I want to be lost in that dream that I shared with you. From the beginning I knew the nightmare was to come but as the rollercoaster gained speed and climbed the hill, what did I care? I had you here, with me, and the excitement caused my heart to race spurred on by a dare. Am I now unhappy? No it is not so. I just miss the warmth of your presence, the part of me that was filled just by having you near...

the alarm clock

object writing exercise #1 from 9 June 2006, sometime in the am

I live in mortal fear of a certain object in my bedroom. It is a basic utility item that many people own and I would guess that many have this stomach churning, hand wrenching fear of their alarm clock as well. No we have not always been enemies, well mostly. I wish I was one of those people with an internal clock but each morning it is the same, that god-awful seemingly "Psycho"-inspired sound pierces my delicate sleep or movie-like dream state and grabs me by the heart to pull me into reality. Yes, I who by nature am quite loud, fear the loud BUZZ from the alarm clock because it takes me away from my momentary bliss and comfort zone. Of course the other fears I have are not hearing the stupid thing because I am too far gone or forgetting to set it. User error. The best part is taking in it's beautiful curves with my hands as I fumble for the snooze so I can spend another 9 minutes in Neverland. I suppose it's too much to call it fear but loathing may be right on the money. I beg and plead for that alarm to go away, stop time for just a few moments so that I can enjoy a little peace. But no, there is no swaying the demon that dwells deep within such a small object. Each morning he wakes screeching in my ear heralding the arrival of the new day. One of these days I may be brave enough to slay the bastard.